Last night, before our final evening performance, the power cut out. Freak lightening hit a tree and brought a line down. The house manager and other SM thought that maybe we could keep our guests’ interests for an hour if we needed to via impromptu song and dance until (hopefully) the power came back. The audience seemed okay with that idea, which impressed me as the temperature and humidity were both way up. While kids scrambled to get chairs and I was racing around the building to see if there were any breakers we could throw, our intrepid director decided that, no, instead of waiting for the power we would have the show. In the cafeteria. Without any ventilation or air conditioning. With failing emergency lights. Daylight rapidly fading.

I suggested to Trish that this wasn’t such a good idea for all the above reasons (including the fact that we would be well past the room’s capacity). She blew me off. The house manager tried to explain the same thing. She shooed him away. Katie, the other SM, tried to explain the problem…Trish chewed her out in front of the kids and the audience. It took three board members to tell Trish, flat out, that the show wouldn’t go on.

In the mean while one of the girls from our cast succumbed to heat exhaustion.

I’ve known this woman for 23 years and after this childish stunt, I’ve come to the decision to cut her loose from my own life. If I had owed her anything, I’ve paid it back in spades through hard labor and patience. I simply can not respect a director who would put a cast, crew and audience at risk simply to satisfy her own ego.

In many ways, this has been coming a long time. But I’m content with my decision. Some relationships are simply to caustic to be anything but damaging, and I simply can’t work for someone I no longer respect, nor can I feign a friendship with such a person.

I've worked through this afternoon's show and will continue through the show that was tacked on for tonight to cover last night. The set will be struck and all elements will be taken care of in a professional fashion. After that, I’ll be done.

Gah…it’s been forever since I’ve posted here…not much of a surprise as my move out of the college was a bit crazy and that the only immediate access I had to the internet over the month of June was on my mother’s PC which runs dial-up and has a hard-drive that uses vacuum tubes.

By and large the school-year ended on a very weird note, what with Mama being shot and all. Coming home to a house that now seems too empty is very weird indeed. Plus, living at one’s parent’s home for any length of time when you’re in your mid-thirties is always weird and uncomfortable. Not to mention a bit difficult as my mother takes a “say no” policy toward pot…so I have to sneak around for my fix while she’s on her second scotch and soda. Bah. Hypocrisy always makes me itchy.

I’m about two weeks into the season with KAT, which means that the “Kaberet” is up and running tonight. We spent the first week building up the stage so that Trish could have something skeletal to work off of (as she can’t work off of a ground plan or taped rehearsal space), which equates to one full week of ass busting for no pay, but less stress for all involved later on. As always, working for KAT is a mixed blessing…the hours are insane, well past anything you’d find in equity, and it’s completely a functioning / non-functioning theater in that the chain of command is so screwed up that the directors are giving scenic notes to my Props Master and my only carpenter is being given notes about set dressings. The issue at hand is that the institution is basically theater for soccer moms by soccer moms. They want it to look professional, but don’t really understand what that requires. Case in point, when they were trying to figure out how to save money this season, they figured it would be a great idea to shave off two of my carpenters and then reduce my budget. Brilliant.

Spent a day hiking with Danielle last month, which was nice, if a bit weird. She's one of the few people I know that I can have a spiritual discussion with without it sounding either inane or arrogant. As always, the sexual tension was a palpable. We may have had a number of problems in our relationship, but the sex was never a part of it. No big surprise that we ended the day by screwing the hell out of each other. Since then, she’s basically disappeared, which only annoys me in that she gave me this song and dance about how much she wanted to hang out, that she was really looking forward to a summer “fling” etc. etc. Frankly, I don’t much care if I’m being used for sexual satisfaction; just don’t bother trying to make it into something else.

Kadie stayed for a long weekend before her trip up to Montreal. She was sick the whole time, which made me feel really bad for her. I wish it had been a better time, but I think, no matter what she says, she really wants a full-time boyfriend, and I’m just not in a place in my life to give that to anybody. So that tends to put stress on something that I don’t want to have any stress at all. As I get older, I realize that maybe I’m just not designed to be with anyone.

Got a chance to hang out with Dan a little bit a couple of weeks ago, which was great. He’s been dragged into the whole “Sandwich Gang” which he seems to fit into very well. Being around that group of reprehensible reprobates is probably the high-light of my summer. As someone once said, you can make new friends, but you can never make new old friends.

Three weeks left on this program, and I’m already feeling burned out…yikes.

Mum called me last night to give me the news. It wasn’t good. Mama and Bubba had gotten to one another again and that bad blood that had been shed years back reached a boiling point. With only Mum around, there was no way to stop the fight and by the time it was over, Bubba was torn to ribbons and in shock. She later died at the vets from heart failure. When the police arrived, they had to pepper spray Mama to get a hold of her. When they dragged her out of the house, she turned on the officer, who, well in his rights, shot her dead.

I’m sorry my mother had to witness this with all the weight she’s had to carry over the past several years. I’m sorry that Mama and Bubba, who were once good friends and were both wonderful dogs, actively ended each others lives. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. And I’m sorry that my wonderful Mama Bird will never give me another hug, lick my face, swim with me or hike with me. Worst being that I never had the chance to simply say goodbye and tell her how much I love her.

I will miss her. Always.

Sleep well my good friend. Perhaps we will meet again in another life but never again in this one.

What type of Fae are you?

I had another really intense dream last night. In this one I was walking down the hill from my parent’s house when I spotted a buck in the middle of the road. He was small, but a six-pointer, and while dirty as a pig in a wallow, he seemed healthy. We stood there watching each other for a few minutes when he charged. I was ready for it and leaned forward, reached out and grabbed him by his antlers. We struggled for several minutes, tumbling through the nearby woods, but I finally won out and the deer collapsed on the muddy leaves, next to a pond. He lay there looking exhausted and terrified so I began whip the mud and grit from his face, talking calmly to him until he relaxed. I stood back to let him up and tipped back into the weed filled water. As soon as I hit the water, I had a good idea I was going to drown. It was very cold, full of bracken and my clothes were pulling me down. The buck stood at the edge of the pond watching me in a serene fashion. I remember thinking, “Well, this is it”, and relaxing (I can only hope that I’ll be able to live my final moments in such a state of calm acceptance). However, for whatever obscure reason, I floated to the edge of the pond and pulled myself out. I remember thinking that my cell phone was probably junk now and pulled it from my pocket to check. Oddly enough, while filled with water, it was still working. I got up and walked back to the road, the deer following me. On the road a woman and her two children had waked up and were now petting the deer, which seemed to have become completely socialized to humanity. I told the kids that we had to drive the buck off now. They seemed upset by this, as was I, but I explained that left as he was, he would be little more than an easy mark for the next hunter to come across his path. I picked up a branch and began waving it in the buck’s face and striking its body. I remember being very sad, to the point of tears, of having to do it, but knowing in my heart that anything else would be a guaranteed death-sentence for the animal, and I knew that I couldn’t live with that.

I had a dream last night that I saw Jack, one of the many dogs that became part of my family over the years. He’d lost a leg when he was 6 or so, but in the dream, he was whole, young and happy. This is the second dream that I’ve had in which one of my dogs has been in, the previous being Hogan, who died in an epileptic fit many years ago, well after he had earned his grey beard. I’ve always thought that if there was some sort of positive afterlife, there must be dogs there. When I think about that in conjunction to thought that I was once told that I would die in my 33rd year, it makes me wonder if my psyche is setting me up for the actual event. Morbid, of course, however premonition of death has never specifically referred to a physical death, so much as a phoenix rebirth of one’s core self. Of course, one can only cross the bridges one comes to.

I rarely post things of this nature, but it made me laugh, so...

IN MOST OF THE NORTHERN STATES, THERE IS A POLICY OF CHECKING ON ANY
STALLED VEHICLE ON THE HIGHWAY WHEN THE TEMPERATURES DROP IN THE
SINGLE DIGITS OR BELOW.

ONE MORNING IN MARCH 2004, ABOUT 3 A.M., A WYOMING STATE TROOPER
RESPONDED TO A CALL OF A CAR OFF THE SHOULDER ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE
TOWN OF CASPER. THE TROOPER LOCATED THE CAR, WITH THE ENGINE STILL RUNNING,
STUCK IN THE DEEP SNOW ALONG SIDE THE HIGHWAY. PULLING IN BEHIND IT WITH
HIS EMERGENCY LIGHTS ON, THE OFFICER WALKED TO THE DRIVER'S DOOR TO
FIND A MAN PASSED OUT BEHIND THE WHEEL AND A NEAR EMPTY BOTTLE OF VODKA IN
THE SEAT BESIDE HIM. THE TROOPER TAPPED ON THE WINDOW AND THE DRIVER
WOKE UP, SEEING THE ROTATING LIGHTS IN HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR AND THE
STATE POLICEMAN STANDING NEXT TO HIS CAR, THE MAN PANICKED. HE JERKED
THE GEARSHIFT INTO DRIVE AND HIT THE GAS. THE CAR'S SPEEDOMETER WAS
SHOWING 20-30-40 THEN 50 MPH, BUT IT WAS STILL STUCK IN THE SNOW.

THE TROOPER, HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR, BEGAN RUNNING IN PLACE NEXT TO
THE SPEEDING, BUT STILL STATIONARY, CAR. THE DRIVER WAS TOTALLY FREAKED,
THINKING THE OFFICER WAS ACTUALLY KEEPING UP WITH HIM. THIS GOES ON
FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS WHEN THE TROOPER YELLED AT THE MAN ORDERING HIM TO
"PULL OVER!" THE DRIVER OBEYED, TURNED HIS WHEEL, AND STOPPED THE ENGINE.

ONCE OUT OF THE CAR THE DRUNKEN DRIVER ASKED ABOUT THE TROOPER'S
SPECIAL TRAINING AND JUST HOW HE COULD POSSIBLY RUN 50 MPH. THE MAN WAS
ARRESTED, STILL BELIEVING THAT A TROOPER HAD OUTRUN HIS CAR.

First really good day I’ve had in awhile…which is good considering that I was woken up from a sound sleep (and a deep dream) at 5:30 am by one of my housemates knocking on their own door (I think that she locked herself out and was trying to get her lad to let her back in). One of my larger class projects is completed and seems to have been pretty well received. Had a really progressive meeting with my mentor and discussed the idea of a stage management appreciation class for directors. A large number of our MFA directors come from the world of having to do it all for themselves and simply don’t know how to utilize us very well, which has proven to cause some issues. My rehearsal with the creative writing class was extremely positive, as I got a great deal of the basic information taken care of right off the bat and seemed to make a good impression on my director, who put the cherry on my day by saying “God, I love having a stage manager”.

I think that most stage managers are really very loyal dogs. We love to help and make folks happy and all we really want is the occasional pat on the head.

the Ham (47% dark, 42% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT Your style's goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 37% on darkness You scored higher than 39% on spontaneity You scored higher than 46% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Follow this link to production photos of “Woyzeck”…

http://photo.calarts.edu/

Click “Photo.Calarts.Edu”
Username: Calarts
Password: Photo

Click on “Theater”
Click on “Theater School Production of ‘Woyzeck’”.

You too can see what over three months of experimental, organic theater can create.